Growth Is Messy
Spiritual growth is messy indeed sometimes confusing. I often ask Father why me, but several years ago I decided to serve Christ even if is messy as some questions answers not forthcoming immediately but certainly seen after. Psalms 45 came as a revelation that I should sing and glorify the King in Truth, Righteousness and humility, so I try to be humble drawing on Jesus the Truth and Righteous One.
As Keating suggests perhaps humility is what God looks most for in our lives? If this is so Donnett then your pursuit of humility will be a solid foundation indeed for your relationship with the Divine.